


Baggage Scanning

by lostdiadem



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Airports, Crack, Good Peter Pettigrew, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostdiadem/pseuds/lostdiadem
Summary: The Marauders are on their way back from James' stag night (or as Sirius has dubbed it ‘Prongs’ Final Piss-up’, and things go awry through securityInspired by the tweet below
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 37





	Baggage Scanning

Remus had a headache. Not just a mildly uncomfortable headache, no. It was a hangover headache. A pain that felt like nails were rattling in your skull like some sort of sadistic snow globe. He must have looked like a zombie as he trudged down the long laminate floors of the airport, wincing when the tannoy announced a plane was ready to board.

He was hungover - they all were.

They were returning from James’ bachelor party, or as James had dubbed it ‘Prongs’ Final Piss-up’, due to the fact he was not only getting married, but Lily was also pregnant and due next July.

All four of them stumbled sleepily towards baggage claim, the lingering taste of acidic alcohol still on their tongues and film on their teeth. They’d only managed to fit in a few hours sleep before waking at 8am to catch their flight home. Peter looked the most troubled. He’d been a toxic shade of green throughout the taxi journey, and his complexion was not improving.

Sirius, who seemed to have materialised beside Remus, gave a low grumble and rested his head on his shoulder.

“Alright?” Remus asked, giving a little shrug so Sirius wobbled slightly. He looked up at Remus, his tinted sunglasses wonky on his nose.

“Okay.” He sighed, straightening them. “But I’m in dire need of a full English.”

“Well we just need to go through baggage, and then we can.” Remus smiled positively, although this face seemed to ache with the excursion of it.

Sirius nodded thoughtfully to himself, and then joined James who was stood in front of them, slumped over the metal railing.

The queue shortened quickly, and soon they were being directed to place their rucksacks on the rolling conveyor belt. Remus flipped his own luggage over his shoulder, placing it inside one of the plastic trays and unzipping it. Airport always made him nervous. He knew he had nothing illegal, and he didn’t exactly _look_ like a drug-smuggling criminal, but the boarder staff always looked so menacing with their metal detectors and swabs. He’d been watching too much ‘Australian Border Patrol’.

He pulled out his laptop, placing it dutifully into the tray, his bag on top of it. Gently, he gave it a small push down the belt, watching it roll until it collided with something.

“James?!” He exclaimed out of shock. “What the fuck are you doing!?”

James had somehow (probably with the assistance of Sirius) lifted his whole body onto the conveyor belt, laying there like a corpse in an open coffin.

“Oh hiya Moony, am I in your way?” James asked innocently, his glasses jittering ridiculously as his head colldided with each bump of the belt.

“ _Are you in my way_?!” Remus repeated, completely exasperated. “Sirius are you-“

There was no point. Both Sirius and Peter were besides themselves, keeling over with silent laughter. Peter let out half sounding squeaks as he flailed his phone around, showing the photo of Sirius helping James onto the belt as he looked over his shoulder to make sure Remus wasn’t watching.

“Oh Prongs, you absolute legend.” Sirius wheezed as James continued to blink inconspicuously at Remus, as if what he was doing was completely normal.

A member of airport security had spotted them, now, and were making their way over. “ _Shit shit_ , Prongs get off their NOW.” Remus whispered desperately, glancing between his friends and the approaching guard.

Realisation seemed to dawn on James’ face, turning his head to the side to see the blue uniformed staff member striding towards them. They had now gathered some attention from the neighbouring queues, and Remus smiled at them apologetically - _i know they’re dick heads, I’m really sorry._

Not succumbing to his approaching fate, James frantically climbed to his knees. But it was no use. Every time James clambered his way forward, the pins would roll him back and so he was scrambling across the baggage scan conveyor belt in front of dozens of people. This was all futile, and with the commotion his glasses had fallen off his face and he’d managed to kneel on his unzipped jacket, causing him to head butt the counter.

“Help me Sirius, for god’s sake.” Remus demanded, now pulling on his friend’s legs to stop them from sliding into the x-ray cubicle.

“What if it poisons me?” James pleaded, throwing horrified looks over his shoulder.

Sirius, who was now practically on the floor, was whipping tears from under his sunglasses. It only took him to see the look of pure desperation and panic on James’ face and the fury on Remus for him to say ‘ _aw, okay_ ’ and get up to help them.

“Stay still you twat!” Sirius shouted, wrapping his arms around James’ midsection. Roughly, he yanked the other boy with more force than seemed necessary, pulling him off the belt so that they both toppled over in a heap on the floor.

The guard had now made their way over, a burley man with a squashed face and bulging eyes. “Everything alright here?” He asked in a Spanish accent, directing strange looks to the boys spooning on the ground.

“Yep!” Remus replied, forcing cheerfulness. “Everything’s fine, right Pete?” He nudged Peter with his foot.

Peter, to his credit, did try to sound convincing. “Um, yeah- I mean, of course... Sir.”

He seemed to consider them for a moment, tapping his steel toe capped boot on the laminate floor. The guard gave one last disapproving look to Sirius and James and then nodded, swiftly walking away. He’d obviously decided today was not the day.

There was a moment of stunned silence from the four of them, all staring at each other in shock and disbelief.

Remus unexpectedly bust out laughing, feeling his head still throb from his hangover as he did so. The others joined in too, and James got to his feet, offering a hand to Sirius to pull him up.

“Jesus, what were you two thinking?” Remus asked as they composed themselves.

“I honestly don’t know Moony.”

They broke into laughter once more.

With this, they’d built up a winding queue of tutting onlookers. They looked furious, and Remus hated being a pain.

“C’mon,” He announced, pushing his tray and watching it disappear into the cubicle, “Let’s get some breakfast.”


End file.
